Manley Stingray Tube Amplifier
Size Queens Need Not Apply

Franco Vitaliano

Music. 

It’s good for ridin’, dancin’, chewin’, screwin’, walkin’ and general goofin’.

But check out this guy in the picture below. Does he look like he’s doin’ any of the above? He looks like he’s waiting in the school office for Sister Mary Theresa to come rap his knuckles, hard. His name is Robert Harley. He’s the Editor of The Absolute Sound. This pic of him appeared in a TAS column entitled “Paradigm Shift.” 

 

TAS & Harley, Sept. 2008, All Waitin’ for Somethin’

Robert was breathlessly writing about how TAS (a mag I used to write for when the great Harry Pearson was in charge of the zoo) was planning on building the ultimate on-line audiophile community.  Look at shiny Bob’s picture again.  You think? Maybe he’s teaming up with Senator Ted Stevens to create a new set of Internet Inner Tubes.

On one extreme, we’ve got the high-end gurus, epitomized by the audibly constipated Robert Harley. And on the other we have legions of iPod fanatics itching to blow up copyright restrictions and all preconceived notions about how music is supposed to be heard.

No. We can’t all get along.

Is it right to attack this balding guy with his defenseless back turned to us? (Sure. He's old.)

Is it right to allow 'Net anarchy to ruin musicians' livelihoods? (Unless it's Journey, Bon Jovi, Heart, Guns N' Roses w/o Axl....)

Can anyone over 30 ever "get" the Internet? (Besides Obama.)

Should old white guys be allowed to dictate new trends in music and audio gear? (McCain loves Limp Bizkit.)

Should millions of new generation listeners be made to think that shitty mp3 files are the gold audio standard? (Only with a free penis exerciser with the download.)

Who will lead us out of this audio wilderness? (Not that guy above sitting with his hands folded like Sister Theresa just scolded him.)

Will it be those people who always whine about not getting all their Net media for free? (Republicans won't cozy up to bleeding heart liberals.)

And who is going to successfully tap into this huge market with millions of new and avid listeners? (Jobs, you're such a bad ass.)

And should all the "net music money should not be going to just one big computer company. (Congrats, Jobs. You made this list twice.)

Know this. There comes a moment in everyone’s jacked in life when it’s time to take out the tiny buds and listen large. (And pay for it.)

With that out of my system, let's point things in a different direction. Compressed mp3 files suck ass big time when played through a decent sound system.  And CD’s, even when FLAC’d and stored, are so Bush II.

 

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